The World Dropped
by theonlyeligoldsworthy
Summary: This story takes place right after Clare leaves Eli in the hospital.
1. the beginning of the end

Disclaimer - I don't own Degrassi

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><p>"It'll be ok, son." Bullfrog said when I turned around in my bed after watching Clare walk out.<p>

"She left me dad." I whispered as reality hit me hard "She…left…me." I repeated slowly letting the reality sink in and a few tears ran down my face, I began to tear my Gothic Tales comic book into shreds. I started to feel bile coming up from my the pit of my stomach causing me to bite my cheek and swallow as much as I need to in order to keep it down. I continued to frantically rip at the comic book to keep my nerves under control.

"Taking it out on a comic book isn't going to help this, Eli." Bullfrog said as he massaged my shoulder one of his ways of soothing me that rarely worked.

"It's helping me feel a little better." I stated.

"You really are one weird kid." He chuckled.

"Baby boy I'm so happy you're all right." CeCe said as she ran into my room and hugged me, trying not to wrap her arms tightly around me because of my neck brace. I hugged her back tightly as I pushed the pain aside yet again and sobbed into her shoulder. "What's wrong baby boy?" She asked.

"Clare left me." I choked out "She said I was manipulating her, that I wrecked Morty because I knew she would come." I stated "It's my fault."

CeCe pulled away, and put a hand on each of my shoulders as she looked into my eyes.

"Baby boy, I don't believe that you knew she would actually come, I also don't believe you were manipulating her. But wrecking Morty was stupid." She soothed and I nodded as my tears started to slow down. She handed me a trash bin for the pieces of my comic book and I threw the shredded pages away.

"I know, but I wanted to show Clare that I'd give up everything for her. It seemed rational at the time." I admitted as I looked down.

"Excuse me, but visiting hours are almost over." The nurse said causing CeCe and I release each other from our grip.

"I'll get the car, everything with be ok son, just don't do any stupid things like this." Bullfrog said as he gave my shoulder one last gentle pat before he left.

"Give it time I think Clare will come around." CeCe said assuringly .

"What if she doesn't mom?" I asked

"You'll be ok and you'll move on just like you did with Julia." She stated

"Julia's dead mom. Clare's not I'll have to see her every damned day." I said knowingly.

"When you get out you'll have your first therapy session and that should help you." She said

"Right group therapy, opening up to a bunch of strangers, fuck that. I'm not getting hurt again." I scoffed as I crossed my arms.

"Baby boy things have a way of working out and you also have at home sessions. I love you, but I have to go." CeCe said as she looked at a nurse who pointed to her watch.

"I love you too." I said as I watched CeCe leave.

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked grabbing my attention.

"Like I've just been in a car accident." I chuckled.

"I can give you some medicine to help with the pain more." She said as she hooked me up to a machine.

"Will they put me to sleep?" I asked knowing I'd like nothing better than to escape my reality.

"They're strong enough to."

"Thanks." I said softly

"I'll be back in a minute with your medicine."

I pushed the button on the remote to the bed to make it so I was laying down. I was really uncomfortable with the boot on and neck brace on, but tomorrow the boot would become a cast which I knew would be worse. I closed my eyes as my thoughts drifted back to Clare and a few tears fell, but I quickly wiped them away and pushed the thoughts aside as best I could.

"I'm back with your medicine, I'm going to give you a small dose of Vicodin." the nurse said handing me a cup of water and two small white pills.

I quickly took the two pills and chased them with the water; downing the whole cup. They worked almost instantaneously as I felt my eyelids growing heavier.


	2. broken

Disclaimer - I don't own Degrassi, however I do own Dee Nyle haha.

Warning - This chapter contains crude humour and foul language.

Note - ZephyrHearts I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to add Clare's POV, but if I do it will be later on, you'll find out what's going on with Clare once school starts.

I was surprised that I ended up with 4 reviews for the first chapter you guys are awesome, as a reward here's the next Chapter. Thank ZephyrHearts for asking me for the update and encouraging me to publish sooner.

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><p>I woke up the next day due to the beeping of the machine and took off the heart monitor, since I'm awake I decided to look at the time to see if CeCe would be awake and luckily it was 11am so I decided to call her.<p>

"Hi baby boy." She said

"Hi CeCe can you do something for me?" I asked cautiously.

"Sure what is it?" She asked

"Change my bed sheets, spray something around my room it doesn't matter what you spray I don't want anything to smell like Clare, put all of her belongings in a box or bag I don't care, just get rid of all traces of her." I pleaded

"Sure baby boy."

"And if she comes by with a box for me light it on fire or something I don't want the memories." I admitted.

"You're going to have the memories honey, no matter what because you lived it, you were there, and you loved her." CeCe said and I knew she was right, but refused to believe it.

"I just don't want them." I sighed defeated as I clenched my eyes closed, a nurse knocked on my door moments later. "I have to go." I sighed

"I love you baby boy." CeCe said sounding a little pained.

"I love you too CeCe." I sighed before I hung up.

"How are you feeling today?" The nurse asked, I stayed quiet "That good, ay?" She joked I smirked at her sardonically "There's a doctor that's going to check your neck on Monday, then hopefully afterwards you'll go home."

"Hopefully?" I asked

"If all goes well with your cast and your neck has healed I don't see why you would need to stay here." She said. I laid back against my pillow as she put the railings up on my hospital bed, took the breaks off of the wheels, and started to push me down the hallways. "We're going to get your cast on today, by then your breakfast should be here." she said as she pushed me out the door.

"Why aren't I in a wheelchair wouldn't it make it easier?" I asked

"It would, but then we'd have to transfer you to another bed and then back to the wheelchair." She said and I nodded. I closed my eyes again as she continued to push me through the halls. "We're here." She said after a few minutes. I looked around the room and seen different casts and slings.

"You must be Mr. Goldsworthy." The doctor said

"I am." I replied as the nurse left.

"This might hurt a bit." He said as he started to unfasten my boot.

"I can undo the boot myself." I stated

"It's ok leave it to the professional." He said and I refrained from rolling my eyes. After about ten minutes I was finished getting the cast on and given instructions. "I'll see you in six weeks." He said. Not only do I have to look forward to seeing Clare in two weeks and not be able to touch her, but also six weeks with a cast-like boot on my leg, and one week using crutches.

"I'm back to take you to your room. Your breakfast should get there by the time I finish making sure your bed is locked in place." She stated and I nodded. Sure enough right when she put the bed back in it's spot and put the breaks on my breakfast came. The person placed a tray with a covered dish, a carton of orange juice and a carton of apple juice on the hospital table in front of me, but before leaving they placed a big pitcher of what seemed to be ice water on the nightstand next to my bed with a few styrofoam cups.

I lifted the lid to the dish and the smell made me scrunch my face together. I filled out the menu for scrambled eggs, not a yellow watery mess. I should have listened to Bullfrog last night when he told me not to get the scrambled eggs, but I had to be stubborn. I picked up my fork, pushed the eggs from side to side to make sure they didn't move, then took a small bite. They tasted worse than they looked, but I managed to choke down a few bites with orange juice.

After I was done eating I kept the small container of apple juice set aside for later and I flipped through the channels. There really wasn't anything interesting on so I stuck with some lame ass movie that I hoped would eventually turn out interesting, but as my luck would have it I wasted away an hour of my life.

A nurse knocked on my door. "Mr. Goldsworthy you have company." She said causing me to look towards the door. I watched a woman walk in, she looked to be about her early thirties, had her hair pulled back, and wore business attire.

"I think you have the wrong room." I said

"Elijah Goldsworthy, right?" She asked as she walked in

"Eli." I said as I sipped on some of my apple juice. "Who are you?" I asked after I took another sip.

"I know I'm supposed to see you when you get out of the hospital, but I called your parents so I can see you sooner." She said

"So you're my therapist?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Yes I am. Here's my card." She held out her card and I took it.

"Is this some kind of joke?" I asked after reading her name.

"No what would make you think that?" She asked

"Your name is Dee Nyle, were your parents in denial when they named you?" I asked

"My whole name is Danielle my nickname is Dee which is on my business cards." She stated "Any way do you know why I'm here?"

"Because you have nothing better to do than visit some fucked up teen in the hospital?" I snickered

"Guess again."

"Because you get paid?"

"That's one reason, but not the actual one. Why are you in the hospital?" She asked

"Because I crashed my hearse into a telephone pole." I said

"And I saw pictures of your hearse after the crash."

"I just want to let you know the guy in the back was already dead." I joked as I held my hands up in defense. Dr Nyle's face flushed in colour.

"W-What were you doing with a dead guy in the back of your hearse? You're still a student." She said seriously.

"Apparently you don't know how to take a joke." I chuckled.

"I don't think that's funny." She sighed as she wrote a few things in her book. "Why did you crash your hearse?"

"Clare said she hated him. I did it for her." I paused "I had to show her that I loved her and it was the only way that seemed rational at the time."

"But she left?"

I nodded, "She promised me she'd never leave me, but she's gone. We had just gotten published too, but that didn't matter to her.." I clenched my teeth as I started to sob lightly.

"What story did you get published?" She asked as reality set in.

"I've said too much." I stated as I started to hyperventilate, my thoughts were about how I've lost Clare and I'll have to watch her move on with someone new which didn't help. "Please leave?" I asked

"But our session isn't over." She stated

"Please leave!" I said venomously as I started gasping for air.

"Eli, man, calm down." Adam said as I felt him hug me. "I don't know who you are or what you've done, but Eli wants you to leave so leave now." Adam stated, he couldn't have come at a better time. I heard high heels clacking as Dr. Nyle started to walk away. "She's gone and it's ok." Adam said as he released his grip from around me.

"It's not ok, Clare's gone and she's not coming back." I sobbed

"What happened, Eli?" Adam asked sitting next to me on a chair.

"She threw melodramatic clichés at me, then said she hated Morty so I crashed him." I said as I started to calm down.

"Wait, you crashed Morty?" Adam exclaimed

I nodded, "For Clare. She said we're over, then she said I scare her." I stated knowingly as I looked at my lap watching as the tears hit the blanket.

"You'll be ok dude, I promise." Adam said trying to cheer me up. I moved over in my hospital and let him join me "I know this might seem hard, but try not to think about it." he said

"Hard is an understatement and I've been, but Dr. Nyle probably wants to know more." I sighed "I mean I loved Clare, fuck I still love her." I said a little angrily

"It takes time." Adam soothed

"Tell me, how hard is it to see Fiona walking around school and not be able to touch her?" I asked since I've never experienced a break up until now.

"It hurts like hell, but I'll get through it and so will you." He said making me feel a little better. "We'll work on it together." He added causing me to smile faintly at him and my tears started to fall. We both turned our attention to the TV "How about we find something uplifting like a comedy?" He asked as he flipped through the channel.

"There's nothing on." I stated as I wiped my face with the sleeve of the hospital gown.

"Before I forget, your mom told me to give this to you." Adam said handing me a bag which I gratefully took. "You're lucky my mom drove me or that would've been a pain in the ass to carry all the way here, it's heavy as hell." Adam chuckled

"Thank you." I said trying to sound as up beat as possible. I opened the duffel bag as Adam continued to flip through the channels, inside was my iPod, a few pairs of boxers, brand new pajama bottoms, clothes, a black sharpie, eyeliner, a few books to read, a small variety snacks, a small verity of bottled sodas, my laptop, DVDs, some comic books, and money, as well as a note. I took it out and began to read it.

_Dear Baby boy, _

_I'm sending this note rather than calling because Adam's here and I know he'll want to spend time with you today. I did just about everything you've asked. I stopped by the store and picked up some new pillows for you just incase, everything else will be a surprise for you when you get home. Please be ok baby boy._

_Love, _

_CeCe_

I relaxed a lot more after reading the letter.

"You were right there's nothing on." Adam groaned.

"That's ok because CeCe sent my laptop and DVDs." I chimed.

"Great now we have something to do for the rest of the day." Adam exclaimed.

"What time is your mom picking you up?" I asked

"9 tonight." he replied as we looked through DVDs. We settled on American History X which is one of my favourites even though I always cringe at a certain part. I set up my laptop, inserted the DVD and pressed the play button.

"Fair warning, Adam, there's a part in here that's guaranteed to make you cringe." I stated

"I don't cringe easily." He chuckled I shrugged it off and clicked on the play button. My lunch came during the movie and it wasn't that bad, so I shared it with Adam and gave him a bottle of soda.

"Ok I cringed." Adam chuckled after the movie ended.

"I told you that you would." I laughed "What did you think?" I asked

"It was interesting and I liked it regardless of the intensity and the mild racism, but it works out." Adam stated

"I like that it teaches you a lesson about the racism, think Ms. Dawes will let us play it in class?" I asked

"I doubt it even if it does have lessons in it, Eli it's rated R for a reason." Adam stated

"But there's no nudity." I argued

"It's brutally violent, Ms. Dawes won't show it." Adam said, I sighed in defeat.

"Next one?" I asked as I dug through my bag.

"My choice." Adam smiled, I rolled my eyes, handed him the duffel bag, and watched intently as he rummaged through the DVDs. After Adam picked out the DVD I exchanged the two DVDs and pressed the play button. Adam and I took occasional sips of our sodas.

"Your dinner is here." A nurse said as she bought in a covered dish, a small carton of tea, and a small bottle of juice during the middle of the movie. I opened the lid after she sat it down and Adam poked at the food with a fork.

"It looks like chicken, but it jiggles like jello." Adam said as he picked up what seemed to be a chicken finger and bit into it. "This tastes really bad." He said chewing it as he made faces, then chocked it down. "Really really bad." he stated as he took another bite, then carefully chewed it as he continued to make faces.

"If it tastes so bad, why are you eating it?" I asked curiously

"Because it's food and it's there." Adam shurgged as he continued to eat the hospital food. "Hey I was eating that." Adam groaned as I took the nasty chicken finger from him, threw the food in the trash with the rest of the nasty food, and paused the movie. "Why did you throw all of the food away?" He asked sounding upset.

"Because Adam, it's gross and we're not eating that shit." I stated as I took out my phone and dialed a number I got a person after a few rings. "Ah, yes I would like a large pepperoni pizza with a bottle of cola." I said

"Dude you can't order pizza in a hospital." Adam whispered, I put up my index finger to silence him.

"Send it to Toronto Hospital, room number 352." I gave the rest of the information they needed as well as a few other things, and hung up the phone few minutes later. "Pizza's going to be here in thirty minutes." I stated as I took a sip of my soda.

"Dude I can't believe you ordered pizza in a hospital." Adam chuckled as I pressed the play button. The rest of the movie played out as we watched, there was a knock at the door right as it ended catching mine and Adam's attention. Sure enough it was our food.

"That'll be $30." The person asked carrying what seemed like a gift box, they looked like an actual visitor with a gift. I handed Adam $40 I felt that he deserved the extra ten for going through everything just to deliver a pizza.

"Keep the change." I said as Adam handed him the money.

"Dude, you managed to successfully order a pizza in a hospital." Adam laughed.

"It helps that the co-owner is a good friend of Bullfrog's from high school." I chuckled. Adam and I opened the pizza box and dug right into the pepperoni pizza it was like heaven. We ended up finishing the pizza leaving a few pieces for me to eat tomorrow instead of the shitty food. "What do we do now?" I asked

"I snuck out your Xbox." Adam said causing me to look at him curiously. "I used my backpack the controllers are in the front part of your duffel bag." Adam stated.

"You used your back pack?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Whatever works." He chuckled back as he pulled out my Xbox, controllers from the duffel bag, and games.

"How about World At War?" I asked knowing we never get tired of killing Nazi zombies.

"Deal let's see if we can get to level 52 this time." He chuckled. I looked at the time and it's only 5:30. It didn't take Adam long to hook the Xbox up to the TV, then we set up the initial game, and started to play. "Dude to the left kill it!" Adam yelled as a Nazi zombie came out of no where.

"Don't tell me you need me to revive you again?" I asked with a small chuckle.

"They keep killing me." Adam said defensively as I revived him.

"Hey I got an instant death." I said excitedly as I walked into it killing all the zombies.

"Dude there are thousands of them now." Adam said quickly as we did our best to kill the zombies.

"Hey we're almost to level 52." I said as we watched other guys walk around since we were using Xbox live.

"Hey I have to go soon." Adam said sadly as I noticed it was getting close to 9.

"We finally made it to level 52!" Me and Adam yelled in excitement. At exactly 9pm Mrs. Torres knocked on the door.

"It's time to go Adam." She said as I paused my guy from the game and bid him good bye.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked

"Of course, someone needs to keep your spirits up." Adam said happily. After he left with his mom I continued to play the game I ended up falling asleep without needing or wanting the pain medicine to help me.


	3. missing you

Disclaimer - I don't own Degrassi.

A/N - Sorry it took me so long to update.

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><p>"Good morning are you ready to go home today?" A nurse asked as she walked in. I sat up excitedly.<p>

"Yes." I stated with a smile. I hated this place.

"I have your release forms right here, your parents have been notified and will be here soon." She said and put the papers down. I looked through them and at the prescription of medications, I'm being put on Xanx as well as Vicodin. The anxiety pills were prescribed by Dr. Denial as I like calling her. After the nurse left I dug into my duffel bag and took out some clothes, then got dressed and finished packing my things.

"Ready to go?" CeCe asked coming into my room moments later.

"Yes." I said happily as I took my crutches and made my way to the door. Bullfrog carried my things.

"This bag feels lighter than when CeCe made it." He chuckled

"That's because Adam and I drank the sodas and ate the snacks." I stated. After signing my release forms CeCe, Bullfrog, and I made our way to The Hog.

"Eli you have your group therapy in two hours are you hungry?" CeCe asked as we got into the elevator.

"Group therapy with Dr. Quack seems fun, son your doctors a duck." Bullfrog chuckled as we looked at him. "You know ducks they go 'quack' just like Eli's doctor." He stated causing me to slightly chuckle, but think.

"Mom, my doctor's a quack, who the hell picks out my doctors? The first one is in denial and now my new one is a quack." I stated pinching the bridge of my nose as I kept leaned against the elevator wall. We all made our way out once the elevator chimed and the doors opened.

"So you have your appointment in an hour would you like to go to McDonalds to eat?" CeCe asked

"Sure." I sighed just my luck group therapy is at noon and probably moves to after school.

"Look at it this way son, you'll be able to make new friends." Bullfrog said trying to cheer me up.

"But I'm not suicidal." I whined

"We know baby boy, but you crashed Morty for Clare so you might have another mental disability." CeCe said softly causing me to sigh loudly. "Just be happy he's getting fixed." She stated.

"McDonalds is fine." I said back we all walked to the car and hopped in. The radio was on so there was no use for my iPod. The ride was quiet, but it was comfortable.

"What would you like?" Bullfrog asked once we got inside the restaurant.

"I'll have a cheeseburger with fries and a large fountain drink." I stated as CeCe and I followed him.

"You're making your own drink." Both said at the same time.

"But someone's carrying it." I added

Bullfrog gave CeCe our empty cups and we made our way to the fountain machine. I took mine and added a little bit of each option into my cup, but left out the diet. Today's drink consisted of: Rootbeer, Sprite, Coke, Orange Soda, Sweet Tea, Fruit Punch, Pink Lemonade, and Dr. Pepper. When I was finished making my concoction I gave my cup to CeCe and we picked out a table close to the window. Minutes later Bullfrog came along with our food.

We talked a little as we ate, but nothing of any importance. When we were done eating Bullfrog threw our trash away as we began to leave. After getting in the car I made sure to pocket my iPod just in case CeCe and Bullfrog were late picking me up or drop me off too early I have something to do. We drove for about twenty minutes before pulling up to a large brick building.

"He's on the first floor Room 12. Are you sure you don't want us to come in?" CeCe asked

"For the third time mom, I'm fine." I stated she nodded and I hopped out of the car with my crutches in hand. I shut the door and made my way into the building.

The walls were white with grey tiles that made my crutches echo every time they clacked against them. It didn't take too long for me to find the room and already I felt out of place. I looked in the door and hesitantly put my hand on the knob, I was about to pull away when I felt it open.

"You must be one of the kids, welcome." An older man said who was most likely Dr. Quack. I smirked sardonically at him and made my way in the door instantly causing all eyes to focus on me as I made my way to a chair, as if being her wasn't bad enough. "It looks like everyone's here. Allow me to introduce myself I'm Dr. Quack." He said

"If you're a quack why are you a doctor?" One of the other teens asked causing us all to laugh except I let out a little chuckle.

"I'm not a quack it's just my last name." He argued.

"Like a duck?" Someone shot back. I sighed and was happy that I bought my iPod which I gladly listened to as the arguing continued. I turned my iPod up as loud as it went to over power the yelling, if every session went like this I wouldn't matter because it meant not having to open up to a bunch of judgmental people. The yelling quieted down and I was asked to remove my headphones which I did after shutting off my iPod.

"So who wants to share first?" Dr. Quack asked, I looked around the room and no one said anything. "How about you with the crutches?" He asked looking at me.

"I'd rather not open up to a bunch of strangers that don't give a damn about me." I said honestly.

"Then I'll start." A girl with long black hair said as she stood up. "I'm Imogen Moreno I've just moved here." She started pulling her sleeves down more. "I've just been enrolled at a new school, lucky me it's the end of the year." I rolled my eyes. "Like everyone I have problems and my own ways of dealing with them. I don't overdose or try to kill myself I just kill my feelings." She stated

"You cut them out?" I asked referring to her habits.

"You can say that. I started cutting when I was 14." She said then finished . "Now it's your turn." She said looking at me.

"I'm Eli Goldsworthy age 17. I'm in grade 11, I don't do labels, I have both parents, and I want to go home." I said earning some laughs.

"Why are you here?" Dr. Quack asked

"People are questioning my mental stability." I stated

"What would give them reason to do that?" He asked back causing me to chuckle.

"I got into a car accident." I said and everyone looked at me "I crashed my hearse purposely, but I had no intention of killing myself." I added "I just wanted to prove something to someone and it didn't work case closed."

"I'm Imogen Moreno. I'm here because I um." She standing up and started to pull at her sleeves "I cut myself. It's my way of release. I don't really want to die, but I just need something to help me get by." She said as she sat back down.

After that everyone went around the room sharing their stories, the teens were shockingly a lot like me. No one labeled me or anything. When it was time to go we started to say our goodbyes. I made it out on my crutches, but my parents were late so I sat down in a bench outside by the door.

"Parents late?" Imogen asked

"Looks that way." I replied dryly as she sat next to me "What about your parents?" I asked

"Late too." She stated, I nodded at her trying to keep the small talk to a minimum. "What school do you go to?" She asked

"Degrassi." I replied dryly.

"Really I'm starting there. How is it?" She stated happily.

"It's a school, everyone has their own clique." I answered

"Really and what one are you in?" She asked before I could answer my parents pulled up. I have to say they do have perfect timing.

"There are my parents I have to go." I said as I grabbed my crutches and started to make my way to the car.

"I'll see you next week and then in school." She said

"Looks like it." I replied looking at her as I opened the door. "Don't cut yourself anymore you're so much more than that." I told her sweetly as I made my way out, she genuinely smiled at me, I faintly smirked back.

"Who was that?" CeCe asked as I got in the car.

"Some girl named Imogen." I stated

"Oh she seems nice." Bullfrog said, I stayed quiet and put my iPod on as we made our way home.

CeCe opened the back door for me and helped me out of the car as we made our way to the door. Bullfrog stood in front of it with his hand on the knob.

"Ready to go in and see the changes CeCe made?" He asked

"Yes." I said excitedly and with that he opened the door. The living room was rearranged and there were new pillows on our couch as well as a rug in the middle of the wooden floor. I made my way to the kitchen and there were all new dishes. "You didn't have to get new dishes CeCe." I said knowingly

"I wanted to baby boy, now go look at your room." She encouraged. I made my way to my room to look at it. Once I got to my room I pushed the door open and made my way inside. My room was redecorated, there's a black rug in the middle of it, more band posters, new bed sheets, new pillows, the pictures of me and Clare were taken down, Clare's stuff was removed, it smelled like my cologne. I opened the closet and the only things in there were mine nothing of Clare's same with my nightstand. After taking a good look around my room, I made my way to the bath room, her things were gone too just like I asked. Don't get me wrong I loved what CeCe did, but removing Clare just makes it real. There was a knock at the door before it opened. "Here baby boy I thought you might want this." She said holding one of my Dead Hand shirts Clare had.

"Thanks." I said as I went over to take it.

"I didn't wash it, but it still smells like her, I just thought you might want it as is." She explained

"I do thank you and thanks again for everything." I smiled as I slowly made my way to my bed with the shirt. I sat on my bed and not caring about the pain I curled up with the shirt in the fetal position and held it letting the smell of Clare take over me.

"Are you ok baby boy?" She asked

"When does the hurting stop?" I asked back as a few stray tears fell down my face. CeCe walked over to me and sat with me, I felt her hand brush my hair.

"I wish I could tell you, but there's no answer to that." She soothed "You loved her and like Julia it'll take time." She said

"Can I have some pain medicine my leg hurts like hell." I admitted

"Your leg or your heart?" She asked

"Both." I answered honestly. CeCe kissed my forehead and made her way out of the room. Minutes later Bullfrog came in with a glass of water and my medicine.

"How are you holding up son?" He asked

"It sucks dad." I said honestly.

"I know." he replied.

"I have food I made you tempeh." CeCe said sweetly causing me to look at her. "You need to eat something if you're just going to stay up here and sleep."

"Ok." I said as I moved, CeCe placed the tray on my lap so it was straddling me and Bullfrog placed the water and two pills on a napkin. CeCe kissed my forehead before leaving and Bullfrog smiled at me. After I ate I gladly took the pills and went to sleep holding the Dead Hand shirt that smells like Clare. Going back to school and having to see her was going to kill me.


	4. becoming numb

Disclaimer: i don't own degrassi, but i do have an amazing girlfriend.

Degrassibear: baby girl thanks for the encouraging comments and i'm not going to delete since you like the story so much.

enough of the notes i'm in dire need of a shower so sit back, relax, and enjoy the story

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><p>I woke up the next morning still holding my Dead Hand shirt that smelled like Clare, I put it aside as I climbed out of bed in my boxers. I grabbed my crutches and some clothes as I made my way to the bathroom to get dressed. I decided that it would be best for me to head to the mall for a while. I grabbed my crutches and left my room once I was done getting dressed.<p>

"Good morning baby boy." CeCe said

"Good morning CeCe, do you think you can give me a ride to the mall today? I need to clear my head." I said as I sat down at the table

"Of course I'll take you. It's good to get out of the house." CeCe explained

"Great." I smiled

"Just eat first." CeCe said putting a bowl of cereal in front of me.

I quickly devoured the bowl and called Adam to see if he wanted to join me, but all I got was the answering machine so I figure he's busy with something or another. I picked up my crutches as CeCe removed the bowl from in front of me.

"Ready CeCe?" I asked once she put the bowl in the sink.

"Yes." she said as she picked up her keys.

We both made our way out of the house she has the next two weeks off since I got in the car accident and can't drive, but I'm hoping Morty gets fixed before I start school.

I climbed into the car and put my crutches in the back. The ride to the mall was quiet minus the occasional chit chat here and there. CeCe pulled right up to the front entrance so I didn't have to hobble much or hop whatever you want to call it.

"Baby boy here's some extra money take it just in case and call me when you're ready to leave. I'll be here as soon as I can." she said

"Thanks and I will." I faintly smirked at her.

I got out of the car and made my way into the mall the first place I went was to the comic book store; I could sit there for hours and just read the comics it was something me and Adam normally did before heading to the arcade. I read my usual comics there wasn't really anything interesting, but there was a new issue of the Goon coming out soon along with an issue of The Chinatown Saga which is Adam's favourite.

I ate lunch before heading to the arcade where I saw Clare walking past it through one of the windows, she was with Alli. They were obviously shopping since the two of them had a lot of bags I'm glad she's happy, don't get me wrong. But to see her this happy pains my heart, I decided to take my mind off it by getting a chair and playing one of the Resident Evil shooting games killing zombies never gets old. I used about ten dollars worth of quarters before realizing I didn't stop at Hot Topic or any other of the vintage stores I liked to go to.

I bought a new necklace at Hot Topic, it was more of a spiked collar to wear with my guitar pick one. I thought a change of jewelry would be nice, I also bought another bracelet it matched my spiked collar so I decided to go for it. I made my purchases, put my small bag around my wrist to allow me to be able to use my crutches and made my way to another store.

Again I saw Clare, but this time it was different there was a guy with her and Alli. He wore a plaid shirt and Clare was hugging him as she kissed his cheek. I think this hurt me worse than seeing her all together. I felt my stomach starting to churn and knot up and decided that it was best to call home and ask CeCe to come fetch me. I made my way out of the mall and sat on a bench there I put my crutches on the ground beside me and started to pull out my phone she would be here in thirty to forty minutes, that means thirty to forty minutes of waiting, of possibly seeing Clare with the guy she hugged and seemed happy with for all I know they could be dating already, thirty to forty minutes of my mind possibly drawing up every conclusion of Clare and that guy I could, thirty to forty minutes of slowly losing my sanity.

"Hey Eli." a small voice said breaking me of my horrid thoughts. I looked to the source of the noise.

"Hi Imogen, what brings you here?" I asked

"Nothing much, but you look like you saw a ghost." she said

"My ex and lets just say the pain isn't worth the break up." I said clearing it up.

"I'm sure its you. Besides if you want I could try to help you get back together, though I'm not sure why you two broke up in the first place. We could talk about it if you want." She offered, just as I was about to accept it I heard tons of giggling and my eyes found the way to the noise. It was Clare, Alli, and the guy they were with. Clare's arm was wrapped around his and Alli was walking next to her. They were talking and Clare squeezed his arm tightly it hurt, I watched as he picked her up bridal style and started to run with her it seemed to make her laugh even more.

"I think she's happier with him than me." I whispered sadly.

"So you don't want me to try?" She asked sadly.

"No. I just need to get over her." I replied

"I could help with that." She stated warmly causing me to look at her

"Really how?" I asked

"I could help you get rid of all your emotions so you won't have to feel anything, nothing at all." she said nonchalantly I thought about it and felling numb would possibly help me.

"What's in it for you?" I asked cautiously

"The added benefit of knowing someone at Degrassi and not having to worry about getting lost.

I looked at her taking in her outfit she had hear hair up and wore a white lacy head band, a jean jacket over top of a pink shirt and pants.

"What do you have to lose?" she asked standing up. I glanced up at her than back down to my hands which were laced together in the space between my legs.

"And it'll help me get over Clare?" I asked

"It'll help you become numb so you won't feel anything you don't want to feel." she said I figured I didn't have anything to lose. "But you have to promise me you'll help me learn where are the classrooms are at Degrassi as well as learn about the teachers." She stated I could tell Imogen and I were going to be friends from this, but it didn't matter the only thing that did was that if I become numb CeCe wouldn't worry about me and right now I want to do this for her. I could see the pain in her eyes when she dropped me off and her sobs last night when she was with Bullfrog. I needed to be ok for my parents.

"Deal. You help me with this and you've got yourself a new friend." I said as I held out my hand. Imogen shook it.

"Deal." She said. "But it's going to be painful." I looked up at her wide eyed "Emotionally at first and then physically, but it won't leave permanent marks on your skin, you're guaranteed to become numb and lose all feelings and nothing bad will happen to you and I'll be with you every step of the way. I promise." she said.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." I stated dryly as a tear started to fall. Imogen must have noticed because she moved to where she was kneeling in front of me and wiped away the stray tear before hugging me. I hugged her back it felt good and a few involuntary tears fell.

"I won't make promises I can't keep I swear." she whispered in my ear. I nodded "She hurt you didn't she?" again I nodded, but I also tightened my grip on her. "You can cry on me if you want to I don't care." she soothed I cleared my throat.

"We're in public." I stated as I released her from my grasp. She stood up and looked down at me as I rubbed my eyes.

"Well?" She asked

"Do you drive?" I asked, she shook her head and I looked at my phone. "My mom will be here in a few minutes where should we go?" I asked

"My house, if it's ok with you, or your house, but I'd have to pick up some things." she said I thought about it and I don't think I want her to be grilled by CeCe more than she has to be.

"Ok I'll tell my mom" I said and as if on cue CeCe pulled up to the mall entrance. I grabbed my crutches and my bag from Hot Topic.

"Let's go." I said and Imogen followed behind me. I opened the back door for her and watched her get in, the look on CeCe's face was full of shock and confusion as I hopped in.

"Baby boy" she said softly as I handed my crutches to her.

"CeCe this is Imogen she's a friend Imogen this is my mom CeCe." I said introducing them. CeCe nodded "Don't grill her please." I said causing Imogen to giggle.

"I don't mind being grilled. Questions are fine." she giggled. During the ride it was more of a conversation more than her being grilled I found out Imogen is in the same grade as me and we have some of the same classes and lunch together, she's somewhat of a girly girl like Clare, but also enjoys video games. CeCe didn't open up to her like she did with Clare or mention us dating like she did when girls came to the house looking for me. Obviously I didn't sleep with them a few were Julia's friends wanting the full story of the accident in which I broke down each time I told it some were just random girls just giving me their condolences.

When we got to Imogen's house she got out first and handed me my crutches. "Take care of my baby boy don't hurt him and call me when you're ready to come home." CeCe said.

I nodded to her "I will." before getting out of the car. I followed Imogen into her house, her mom was in the kitchen baking.

"Welcome home Imogen." she said as she put something in the oven.

"Hi mom. This is Eli I'm going to help him with something. He goes to Degrassi and we met yesterday." I could tell she wanted to say we go to therapy together, but didn't which was good.

"We go to group therapy together." I said as her mom quickly turned her head and looked at me. "I um..I crashed my car which is how I ended up with a broken leg and they thought it was a failed suicide attempt." I said clearing up the confusion.

"Was it?" She asked.

I licked my lips after shaking my head "If I wanted to commit suicide I know where my dad keeps his rifle I would've gone into the woods and shot myself. I crashed my car for different reasons; reasons that seem asinine now." I said clearing it up.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just don't want some suicidal teenager in my house and have them succeed." She said as she asked me questions about my home life and parents.

"Moooom" Imogen groaned

"Ok enough with the questions what are you two going to do and where?" she asked

"We're going to my room, the door will stay opened and Eli's going to help me learn about Degrassi." Imogen said. I can't believe it was that easy to get past her mom. They're catholic, but not hardcore they go to church once a year and they don't care that I'm atheist. Imogen's room was decorated in a light purple colour and her furniture was white to match the walls. Her bed sheets were light purple, there weren't much stuffed animals or anything and it was a nice sized room.

"What now?" I asked watching Imogen dig out some things.

"You can sit down anywhere you want." she said and I took a seat at her desk. Imogen sat on her bed near me and looked at me. "You have to erase all feelings from your heart this is where you close your eyes and think about everything bad that happened in your past everything that hurt you and let it go. Let it leave your body." she said and I obeyed. I closed my eyes and let memories of Julia come back in my head from when we started dating to each visit I made to her grave. I didn't the same thing with Clare the memories of Clare hurt more probably because they were the most recent. I felt tears run down my cheeks and before I could wipe them away Imogen handed me a tissue to use.

"Don't open your eyes until your memories left your body." she said

"I don't want to forget them." I replied

"You won't, but they won't hurt you at the same time. You can't forget the memories that you hold in your heart, but you can stop them from hurting." she said clearing it up as I continued to let my memories flash before my eyes repeatedly until I no longer felt hurt or anything from them.

"What now?" I asked

"You need to tell me about Clare your relationship from beginning to end." she said as she put a rubber band around my wrist. I'm guessing this is where the physical pain came in. Each time I sobbed while thinking of Clare she's snap it against my arm just enough for me to feel the pain and leave a red mark. After an hour of this "therapy" I started to be able to think about Clare with less and less pain.

"It's starting to work." I said

"It takes a few days, but if you continue this process it'll help." she said and I rubbed my wrists and arms since I could get addicted to it if she kept snapping the rubber bands against them like that. After that we talked about Degrassi like promised and I filled her in on everything. I also ate dinner at her house it was nice and full of laughter her parents liked to joke about things almost like mine, but they weren't as open. They shared embarrassing stories and Imogen would groan as they mentioned one about her. It was funny. I would say tonight turned out to be a success and hopefully soon I won't have to worry about getting hurt or feeling anything at all.

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><p>thank you for the reviews and as long as at least one person is happy with the story i'll keep updating it.<p> 


	5. the sun is gone

Disclaimer: i don't own any part of degrassi.

a/n: This chapter was encouraged by my reviewers(thank you all), the depressed yet twisted mood i was in when writing this(don't know why i was depressed, but i'm fine now), and my boredom normally my girl is on aim to cure it but she isn't home haha.

about my shoutouts if anyone's curious: i only do them when i'm asked a question or feel the need to while updating however i will give shout outs either on the last chapter or i'll make a page for them.

thanks for the interest in this story and again thank you for the wonderful reviews.

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><p>I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door I groaned and rolled over. All I want to do is sleep, just sleep.<p>

"Eli it's time to wake up Dr. Nile is here." CeCe said. I groaned again and checked my phone, it's now 2 in the afternoon I had officially slept all day. I blinked a few times and wiped my eyes before getting out of bed.

"I'll be right down." I yelled to CeCe before grabbing my crutches and getting dressed. I headed down stairs dressed in a pair of black sweats and a Dead Hand tee. Dr. Nile was already set up on the love chair when I made my way to the couch.

"Hi Denial" I said monotone

"Please don't call me that." She asked softly

"Its your name isn't it?" I asked casually as I leaned back against the couch.

"It is but I'm your doctor." She said putting emphasis on the word doctor.

"Ok Doctor Denial, better?" I asked slightly amused putting the same emphasis on the word doctor that she did, she rolled her eyes and jotted something down on a paper.

"So Eli, how are you?" she asked

"Tired can I go back to sleep now?" I asked back.

"But your mom told me you've just woken up what time did you go to bed?" she asked I shrugged not knowing the time.

"Once I got home I guess." I stated

"And what time was that?" she asked

"I don't know." I stated "Dinner was at 6 then I guess I came home at about 8 or 9" I said

"That's a lot of sleep" she stated "Have you had any suicidal thoughts?" she asked cautiously

"Yes I've been thinking about driving Morty off a bridge, you know killing us both. Oops he's still broken and with a bum leg I can't drive." I joked chucking darkly at the end

"That's not something to joke about." she said making another note.

"I have a dark, twisted, sadistic sense of humour what can I say?" I said sarcastically as I leaned back on the couch and spread my arms open so they were stretched out along the back showing my full arm span as I crossed my legs with my non casted one on the thigh of my broken leg.

"You seem to have a different personality from when I last saw you at the hospital." she stated and I moved my position to one where my legs next to each other slightly opened as my forearms rested on my legs as I leaned in.

"Imaging liking someone knowing you're messed up and by some fucked up twist of fate she falls in love with you regardless of your hoarding, the loss of your first love, the fact that you both have different beliefs, and everything else life's decided to throw at you. You end up fully opening up to, falling head over heels with her, publish a story together, and feel like life is finally worth the effort, that nothing can get better, you finally feel happy after a depressing year, you almost get stabbed by a bully while you were trying to protect her, only to have her tell you months later 'I need space' but no hints at breaking up then she rips your heart out only to see her less than two weeks laughing it up with some guy like you meant nothing to her and the pain of it all comes back and hits you. All of a sudden you realise that the love just isn't worth all the heartache any more, that maybe it is just some fairytale we fall into, an illusion our masochistic hearts play on us, that it simply doesn't exist. Tell me, how would you feel if you loved like that only to have it taken away?" I asked

I watched Dr. Denial's face drop and become taken over by sadness before she began to clear her throat and talk.

"I'm going to prescribe you antidepressants along your anxiety pills to help deal with your recent break up." She said, I nodded who knows they might actually help me.

"So the list goes on. Xanax, Vicodin, and now what?" I asked

"Laxapro" she stated "Along with a multi vitamin since you're sleeping more it'll help your body provide vitamins for healing."

"Isn't a doctor supposed to prescribe me vitamins?" I asked

"I'm able to as long as I see fit and I do see fit. How's the hoarding?" She asked

"I'm getting there. I'm actually afraid that I'll start…collecting things again which is why I'm not objecting to another prescription of Xanax." I admitted and she nodded. "Can I just go back to sleep?" I asked with a yawn.

"Are you that depressed where you want to sleep all the time?" She asked again I shrugged

"I don't mind sleeping all the time though half the time I take Advil just to get me to sleep. In the hospital I rarely slept it's hard, you know. Every time I close my eyes I see her face, that beautiful angelic face with those light curls bouncing as she giggles, only to have her turn away from me and run off somewhere and when I run to find her I'm lost in the blackness. It's like I'm lost. When I take something like the Advil to get to sleep I don't dream, I don't see her. It's like my escape from reality and nothing's broken." I said sadly

"How was it in the hospital?" she asked

"Vicodin helped me sleep the first night, the second night I fell asleep after a long night of video games, the third night Vicodin didn't help so I resorted to playing video games until I fell asleep I rarely slept in the hospital." I admitted

"It sounds like you have a bad case of insomnia I'll prescribe you something, ok?" she asked I nodded as a few tears slipped down my face and she wrote another prescription.

"What is this one called?" I asked

"Zolpidem it'll help you fall asleep and stay asleep." She said

"And mixing the meds won't do anything?" I asked

"No they won't clash with one another." She stated and handed me five forms each with its own medication on it.

"I'll talk to you in a week." She said as she packed up her stuff. I couldn't believe it was over this fast.

"Ok." I said as she made her way over to me and shook my hand.

"Don't take Advil as a sleep aid it's not good for you." She chuckled as we shook hands

"I don't need to now, but if I get a headache will I be able to take some?" I asked looking at her through my bangs.

"No more than two." She said

"Ok." I replied as she made her way to the door. "Denial?" I asked as she turned around

"Hm?" She answered

"I'll try not to be such an ass next time. I know you're only doing your job." I said softly

"I don't mind I like helping people the money is just an added bonus." She admitted making me think that she was actually listening to me because she wanted to not because she was getting paid to. I nodded as she left. When the door closed CeCe made her way down stairs.

"How did it go?" she asked

"I'm a pharmacy." I stated handing her the handful of papers. I watched as CeCe looked through them and read what each one was for before shuffling off and fetching her keys and purse.

"Lets go get these filled." She said and I nodded and got up from the couch with my crutches in hand.

We both climbed into the truck and took off as I looked at the prescriptions again. I noticed one of them said "Vicodin" and couldn't help but think if she should prescribe this to me rather than a doctor, I looked it over again and noticed it was prescribed by my doctor his signature was even at the bottom.

"Mom how did dr. denial get this?" I asked

"I called the Dr. Brown yesterday and asked him to give it to her after calling Dr. Nile asking if she could pick it up before hand." CeCe said clearing up the confusion.

During the drive we took the back way to the pharmacy to avoid Clare's house. When we drove past the Dot we saw Clare sitting on the back of a red pick up truck laughing with Alli and some other girl. It hurt like hell even worse was when the same guy from the mall grabbed her by the waist as she put her hands on his shoulder to help her down. As much as it hurt watching it I couldn't pull my eyes away, but when we past I leaned my head against the window.

"She really hurt you didn't she baby boy?" CeCe asked I sighed and closed my eyes as a few tears trickled down. CeCe grabbed my hand and rubbed the back of it to let me know it's going to be ok. I wiped my eyes and pulled my hand away as I grabbed my cell phone.

"Hello?" the person asked as they picked up

"Hey it's me. I was wondering if you'd like to continue helping me." I asked

"Of course, I'm out with my mom right now, but she'd be more than happy to swing by and come get you or drop me off at your house." she said happily.

"I'm out with my mom as well I have to pick up a few things." I said

"Than should I call you when I get home or.." she trailed off.

"How about call me when you get home and I'll have my mom drop me off if I get home before you I'll call and give you my address." I said.

"Deal." she chimed happily "I'll see you soon." She said

"Deal." I chuckled

"Something or someone got you to smile for once today I think I owe that person a thank you who were you talking to baby boy?" CeCe asked

"Imogen." I said as we pulled up to the pharmacy. CeCe shot me a look. "I know what you're thinking and she's helping me get over Clare. We're just friends mom and if Clare gets to move on and be happy why shouldn't I take the chance to get over her while I have the option?" I asked before realising how that sounded.

"And once you get over Clare does this mean you're going to push Imogen to the curb and go back to Adam?" CeCe asked

"Mom, Adam's at his grandmom's he called me last night to let me know and besides I told him about Imogen and he wants to meet her. She knows about Clare and how I felt towards her, she's a good friend." I said

"I just don't want to see you getting hurt." She said, but I knew she wanted to say something else, but held her tongue.

"You and Bullfrog raised me better than to use someone CeCe I'm offended you would think up such a thing." I stated playfully as we pulled into the parking lot.

"I know we did baby boy and I'm sorry I second guessed it." She said ruffling my hair after we parked the car.

CeCe got out of the car before I did and made her way to me and shut the door behind me once I got out. The two of us made our way into the pharmacy and then to the counter to order my prescriptions. They wouldn't take too long so we decided to go to the restaurant next door and eat.

"How are you holding up?" CeCe asked as she looked over the menu.

"I know I can call Imogen and Adam when I need them so that helps, but I just met Imogen and I don't want to become a burden on either one." I said

"I can't speak on behalf of Imogen because I've only met her once, but Adam is your best friend he even helped with the bag I packed you, he was really worried about you when we told him you were in the hospital he wanted to see you that night. As hard as it was for Bullfrog and I to do we told him that it was best if he waited and let you sleep. I don't think you'll ever be a burden on that boy." She said honestly.

"Thanks mom." I said

"Can I take your order?" A waitress asked.

Me and CeCe placed our orders and talked again for a little bit. After lunch or dinner or whatever meal it was we went back to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions and luckily for us they just finished filling them. I took the small white bag in my hand as we made our way out and to the truck.

We drove past the Dot on our way home and there was no sign of Clare I smiled to myself a little as we continued the ride. At home I made my way to my room and called Imogen.

"Hello?" She answered

"Hey I guess you're coming here." I chuckled slightly

"Looks that way. So do I get an address?" She asked, I gave her my address and she said she'll be over once her mom pays for their meal, I guess she had the same idea me and CeCe did.

I put the five bottles of pills in my medicine cabinet which was already stocked with Advil, Motrin, DayQuil, NyQuil, and Benedryl which I rarely used since I haven't had an allergic reaction since I was little. I looked over my stocked medicine cabinet. and thought: Pharmacy Eli is now open for business.


	6. bittersweet

Disclaimer- I don't own anything Degrassi

A/N: Sorry it's took so long to update. Now that the show is on I still do plan to continue the story and the lines that I use from the show will have a twist to them and will be used in different ways.

Enjoy.

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><p>After putting my medicine away I went downstairs and sat on the couch. I turned on the tv and randomly searched for something to watch. My phone started to ring and I hurriedly picked it up without looking at the caller id.<p>

"Hello?" I asked

"Hey man, just checking in on you to see how you're doing." Adam said on the other line.

"I'm doing ok." I answered

"How's therapy?" Adam asked

"Lets just say Pharmacy Eli is open for business." I joked

"Pharmacy Eli? What did they put you on?" He asked

"Xanax for anxiety, Laxapro for depression, Zolpiderm for insomnia, Vicodin for pain, and a multi vitamin." I answered.

"I'm sorry dude." Adam said sounding upset.

"Don't be I got myself into the situation and now I have to make it better." I said knowingly

"How do you plan on doing that?" Adam asked

"Lets just say when you see me I'll be a whole new Eli." I replied

"I'm not sure if that's good or bad." Adam stated

"I saw Clare." I said dryly.

"Yea? How is she?" Adam asked

"She didn't see me, but she's happy. She was laughing as she walked with some guy and Alli at the mall and yesterday she was sitting on a red truck I'm guessing it was his and he picked her up as he helped her down. She had her hands on his shoulders and she was smiling you can tell because he was smiling." I stated

"I'm sorry dude, but maybe they're just friends." Adam suggested

"It didn't seem it, but I need to get over her."

"How do you suggest that?"

"I have some help." I stated with a slightly up beat tone.

"Ok as long as you're doing ok I don't want to lose my best friend. I have to go I'll call tomorrow." Adam said

"You're not losing me Adam. I'll be fine and I don't plan on doing anymore stupid stunts." I assured

"Good and take care." He said

"You too." I stated before hanging up.

Not long after getting off the phone with Adam there was a knock at the door it could only be one person. I grabbed my crutches and made my way to the door. I opened it to see Imogen standing there with a faint smile across her face.

"Come in." I said as I moved away. I watched as she made her way inside and looked around. I moved behind her.

"Welcome." CeCe said as she came from the kitchen.

"Thank you for allowing me to come over." Imogen smiled. I narrowed my eyes at CeCe just incase she would say something intrusive.

"It's a pleasure to have you." She chocked out. I smirked playfully at her as a thank you and she nodded back.

"Where to?" Imogen asked

"If you two go to your room I want the door open, even if it's just slightly open I just want to know what's going on in there." CeCe explained.

"Mom we're just friends nothing's going to happen." I stated

"I know baby boy and I trust you I just wouldn't be able to take seeing you hurt again." She said

"I know and Imogen's making it better. She's helping me we'll be fine." I said trying to clear up the awkward vibe coming from Imogen. CeCe nodded as me and Imogen made our way to my room, it still feels empty to me like something's missing, that something being a someone and that someone is…Clare.

"Is this Clare?" Imogen asked holding Clare's picture.

"Yes." I nodded and looked at her as she placed the picture down. I walked over towards her when she motioned to me. "Yell at her, let out all your anger." She said and I raised and eyebrow at her. "It'll help trust me." I sighed and looked at the picture as I gained rage.

"I hate you." I said venomously and went quiet.

"Keep going." Imogen said

"It seems off." I told her as I shook my head. Imogen picked up the picture and put the back of the frame in front of her face.

"Try now." She said

"I hate you." I repeated just as venomously as I tightened my grip onto my cane.

"I never loved you." Imogen said calmly

"I wish I never met you!" I retorted

"You meant nothing to me."

"I want you out of my life!" I stated through gritted teeth. My face fell and Imogen put the picture down.

"Did it help." She asked calmly and I nodded.

"I got a lot off my chest. I think I'm ready for school tomorrow." I said and Imogen sat on my bed. "You don't know your way around do you?" I asked as she shook her head. "I'll escort you. My honour after all with your help and my meds finally kicking in I'm becoming a whole new Eli. A better one even." I said happily

"So does that mean you're starting to feel less?" She asked as I joined her

"In some ways. I think I'm finally over Clare and am now able to talk to her tomorrow." I said happily and smirked at Imogen. "Thank you."

"Your welcome….Eli Goldsworthy." She said

"Using my full name?" I asked

"It's an OCD and hard to break my personal therapist said I should try to stop calling people by the first and last names. It was too hard." She admitted and I nodded.

"Life is hard, but some times we need the little things like that to help us." I said as I gently squeezed her hand to comfort her. "If you must know Clare's last name is Edwards." I said knowingly

"So you don't care?" She asked

"No I don't." I stated and she smiled.

Me and Imogen started to talk about school she's in drama club with me for art. She likes acting and makes it a part of her life she sort of opened up to me telling me a little about her. She sometimes pretends to be a homeless kid on the street that refused to take money since she's not really homeless. She's different and right now that's what I need, someone who's different like me who also understands me for the most part. I told her about Julia so I guess that's a start.


End file.
